Literally in love with this song.
Goodnight.
In a relationship, you have to understand that you’re not always going to get the sweetest cutest goodnight. But you should always get a goodnight.
Let go or be dragged
Something I sent to my friend, but I think everyone should read this.
Oh So Relatable
Things My Anxiety Tells Me
- He doesn’t love you
- He doesn’t miss you
- You’ll probably scare him away
- They’re talking about you while you’re not there
- Your hair is probably frizzy right now
- You’re not actually invited, they just felt bad
- You’re probably doing that workout wrong & everyone at the gym knows it
- If you sit on the couch everyone will think you’re lazy
- He’ll never love you like he loved her
shhhh,
it’s a shecret.
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Something I have been facing in my relationship lately is the question “should I stay, or should I go?”
Bummer, right?
What happens when you find the man or woman of your dreams, and everything just seems to get in the way?
See, in my situation, I’m falling for, or have fallen for, a guy that goes to college in a different state, however, he is graduating this summer, but will be offered a job at his internship. If he takes it, he stays there, and we remain long distance… so you see? I am caught between being happy for him and resenting the fact that he may choose to live there for an unpredictable amount of time.
the issue is, I don’t want to be with anyone else. Literally no other guy appeals to me. He doesn’t want to be with other girls either. The only reason we would break up is because of the distance…
Now I don’t know about you, but every time I have been talking to a guy and we bring up past relationships, and he mentions that they broke up because of distance, I always assume that he still loves her and would be with her if he could, which makes me uncomfortable and like a back up plan. Now that I am being faced with that situation, I know it’s true. Everyone else would be my second choice.
It just hurts my heart.
Ya know?
How To Break Up With Someone
There are many types of breakups: the one you will never forget, the one you wish went better, the one you wish never happened and the one that never actually did happen (how dare they ignore me?). No one really knows how to properly break a heart; that’s to say that a proper way even exists. There are many “don’ts” when it comes to breaking up with someone, for example, don’t break up via text message and don’t post it on Facebook, to name a couple… but the question still remains, what is the correct way to end a relationship? How should you break up with someone?
- Be Sure You’re Ready To End The Relationship… Permanently.
The worst thing you can do when thinking about ending a relationship, is assuming that you can get back together if you feel like you’ve made the wrong decision. Why throw someone’s emotions around like that? Not only is it confusing for you, but it’s confusing for them too. Don’t drag someone around just because you don’t know what you want. That’s just not fair. Once it’s over it’s over. Just like you need to commit to a relationship, you need to commit to a breakup. According to family and relationship therapist, Sandra Herlitschek, “Be sure you are okay with the possibility that you may never get back together.”
- Do It In Person
I know, I know, breaking up over the phone is so much easier, not to mention less awkward… but that’s insulting to the relationship. According to Mind Body Green, “You want to like yourself afterwards and not have any regrets, including how you ended things.” There are two things you owe someone when you’re in a relationship with them: honesty and respect. Have the decency to end the relationship face to face. Choose a coffee shop or restaurant that would provide a comfortable atmosphere. The person you are breaking up with needs to be able to see that you care enough and respect them enough to end the relationship as delicately as you can.
- Honesty Is The Best Policy
Don’t blame the breakup on something that you know isn’t truly the reason for the split. If it’s not working between you two, explain why. Don’t pull the typical “I can’t give you what you need, you deserve better” line…we all know that’s not the reason for the breakup. “It has to be that cut-and-dry. There’s no candy coating it,” says Mind Body Green. The goal is to end the relationship and being too nice will not get the job done.
- Beware of Social Media
For the love of God, do not change your relationship status from “in a relationship” to “single” the same day as the breakup. Nothing is more heartbreaking than being broken up with and seeing your ex tell the world he or she is single and ready to mingle. Try to understand that, while it was hard for you to breakup with your significant other, they’re on the other end wondering how it could possibly be over, and thinking of ways to win you back. Respect their broken heart: keep the breakup private.
- Prepare Yourself
We all know that no matter how many times you plan a conversation in your head, it never turns out the way we want it to… but we can at least try. There are a few things that are easy to assume when imagining how the breakup conversation will go: they’re going to ask lots of questions, they’re going to try to fight for the relationship and they’re going to become emotional. Be prepared for the worst, have your reasons planned out and stick to your decision. If you practice what you are going to say, chances are, you’ll say them. Be stern and do not let them sway you. Dr. Seth Meyers, a licensed psychologist and author says, “I find the best way to learn how to have uncomfortable conversations is to do role-plays in advance. Find a friend who will role-play with you and get to work.”
- Don’t Put It Off
If you know you are ready to end the relationship, don’t put it off: The sooner, the better. Chances are, your significant other will start to see that you are being distant. According to Mind Body Green, “They may not have the strength to push you away, so you have to do it for them. Not only for them but also for you.”
- Saying Your Final Goodbye
What’s the worst thing you can do? Agree to a last kiss. The relationship is over now, and so are the days of kissing. A hug, however, is a different story. According to LovePanky.com, “It’s just like death. Saying goodbye to a dying person can actually make everything feel more peaceful on the inside. But at the same time, a sudden separation with no goodbyes can traumatize you for months.” So sure, give a goodbye hug, and make it your last one.
- Cut Off All Communication
According to Mind Body Green, “Unfriend or unfollow [them] on all social media. If they continue to follow you, that’s on them. Give them space by distancing yourself. Many feel bad so they want to be there for them during this transition.” Do not text them or call them… cut off all communication. This is important for both of you; you need to learn to live without each other.
“We Started Talking Again…”
Ever start talking to your ex and think “hey, maybe we could make amends…. or even try things again”?
WOAH THERE… HOLD UP!
Why go back to something when it didn’t work once before?
“You Can’t Start The Next Chapter Of Your Life If You Keep Re-Reading The Last One.”
ya dig?
okay, okay! I understand, sometimes second chances DO work… But when should you choose to walk away… or try again?
Walk away if:
1. You’re in high school… you have so much life ahead of you! (“but we are more mature now!”) bullshit. Go experience the world! If he happens to pop up in your future, THEN and ONLY then, try again
2. He/She cheated on you…. they left you once for someone else. When they had you, they consciously chose to betray your trust. You need someone who is there for you, even in his or her times of weakness!
3. You cheated on him/her… if you try to begin again with someone you cheated on, they will forever hold your past against you, you will forever be the one who didn’t love enough. You will spend your whole relationship trying to prove why they should trust you again. And anyways… YOU CHEATED.. clearly you weren’t getting what you needed out of the relationship!
4. In the past relationship, they did things you hated…for example, didn’t workout. If you’re into physical fitness and you were so bothered by their lack of desire to be physically fit, they’re not going to change.. now this is a minor flaw, but there are other things such as smoking, lying, jealousy, lack of ability to be serious, religion, values: these are all things that make them who they are… if you don’t like it… do you really even like them?
“Don’t let loneliness drive you back into the arms of someone you know you don’t belong with.”
shhhh, it’s a shecret
Here’s to the girls who:
Here’s to the girls who:
Are waiting around for someone to make plans for tonight
are waiting for his texts
are heartbroken
broke up with someone who wasn’t treating you well
feel so alone
have friends that you miss like hell
this is for you.
i love you all, and i feel the same ❤
xoxoxo
shhh its a shecret.
s h e c r e t s 